Wedding Vows - Alternatives to Unity Candle?

The place that my daughter is getting married, will not allow the lighting of candles bigger then a tealight without having a fire marshall present. The Fire Marshall has a 4 hour minimum. We cant see paying for 4 hours when he is only needed for 15 minutes. Does anyone know of an alternative to a Unity Candle? Same concept-different objects? Thanks for any input! Sue

The other option is the Rose Ceremony.. two long stem roses, placed in a vase. With each aniversary the couple recite their vows to one another and add a rose to the vase (thus eliminating the idiot question.. how long have we been married hunney?) [IMG]http://12-steps-recovery.com/photos/wedding/frank/wedding2.jpg[/IMG]

[QUOTE=Sue]The place that my daughter is getting married, will not allow the lighting of candles bigger then a tealight without having a fire marshall present. The Fire Marshall has a 4 hour minimum. We cant see paying for 4 hours when he is only needed for 15 minutes. Does anyone know of an alternative to a Unity Candle? Same concept-different objects? Thanks for any input! Sue[/QUOTE] What about trying this! Now I've come up with this on my own so bare with me. Try taking either silk or satin "rope" and have them tie a knot in a circle to represent the joining of two souls! i dont know if thats what your looking for but i hope it helps! Sincerely Charles M

Charles, are you refering to a handfasting knot?

we are going to do a sand ceremony

Sand ceremony for me! :D Oh, and we're also giving our new MIL's a rose. Like a peace offering or something. LOL!

Hey Rev sorry about the delay in response busy work week. Not really in the traditional pagan sense of handfasting but more of i guess a new twist on the idea. like i said it wasnt where the rope or silk or whatever material chosen is tied to but the actual act or symbolism behind it. In essence there would be freedom to decide on somthing not based on the older tradition. TTYL Rev C Canning

Try including the "Box, Wine & Love Letter Ceremony" into your vows. It is lovely and a very unique idea for a couple to try. Wedding guest are always stunned by it. Especially if they have no clue that the couple planned on doing this. It will be a big hit and guaranteed to become a very popular trend. "Box, Wine & Love Letter Ceremony" While there are so many traditions that a couple can incorporate into their wedding vows, such as the Unity Candle, The Rose Exchange, and many more, there is one special idea that I have recently learned about from my dear friend, Richard (Thanks Rich!) who attended a wedding in Holland. While he was not sure if it was a Dutch tradition, he found it to be extremely touching. When he returned to the states, he could not wait to share this with me. Basically the JP or officiant asks the couple getting married to find a strong wooden box that will hold two bottles of wine and two wine glasses. The couple is then asked to each write a letter to one another, expressing their thoughts about the good qualities that they found in their future partner and their reasons for falling in love with each other. Under no condition can they read each other’s letter. They are to seal them and put them in the box with the wine and glasses. Upon finalizing the wedding ceremony, the officiant will announce to the guests that he / she had asked the couple to write letters to each other and put them in the box with the wine and glasses. The officiant will explain that should the couple ever find their marriage in serious trouble, before making any irrational decisions, they must open the box, drink wine together, and read the letter that they wrote to one another to reflect on why they fell in love with each other in the first place. The hope is that there will never be a reason to have to open the box, unless of course, it is for a 25 year anniversary! At the wedding in Holland, members of the wedding party were handed nails to hammer (which I dress up with a white ribbon and bow) the box shut. However, as an alternative, I suggest that it be the couple to each take a nail and hammer the box shut (with two pre-drilled holes to make it easier to hammer), if only to add that special touchinto their wedding vows. This is only a suggestion, but I just think that it makes the ceremony extra special for the couple. Truthfully, I find this to be the most romantic (and coolest!) addition to incorporate into a marriage ceremony. Not that my husband and I needed to do this (well o.k., maybe sometimes!), but I wish that we had. It would have been fun opening it up on our 25th Anniversary! The Officiant would say the following: "Alexis & Travis, I have asked you as a couple, to find a strong wooden box that will hold two bottles of wine, and two wine glasses. In addition, I have asked each of you to write a letter to one another, expressing your thoughts about the good qualities that you have found in your future partner, as well as, your reasons for falling in love with each other. I requested that under no condition were you to read each other’s letter, and that you were to seal them in individual envelopes and put them in the box with the wine and glasses." "Alexis & Travis, should you ever find your marriage enduring serious difficulties, I am asking that before you make any irrational decisions, that you both, as a couple, open the box, drink some wine together, and then venture off into separates rooms to read the letters that you wrote to one another when you were united as a couple. By reading these love letters, you will reflect upon the reasons that you fell in love with each other in the first place. The hope here is, that there will never be a reason for you to open this box, unless of course, it is for your 25 year anniversary!" "Alexis & Travis, I now ask that each of you take a nail, one at a time, and hammer the box shut." You can view a picture of how it is done at: [url]http://www.weddingofyourdesire.com/[/url]

I love the idea of the "Box, Wine & Love Letter Ceremony". As it is, my FH and I are wine drinkers and so is most of our family. It would be perfect for us.

We are *hopefully* doing the wine, box, and letter ceremony. I sent the ceremony I wrote up to the officiant last week, just waiting on her ok. We are worried about finding a box though.......no one in our families is particularly crafty like that!

We are doing a sand ceremony.

my FH and i are doing a hand ceremony as well as the traditional rose ceremony. He wasnt so hot on the idea of a unity candle so we found this: Hand Ceremony Bride, please face Groom and hold his hands, palms up, so that you may see the gift that they are to you. These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and vibrant with love, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as he promises to love you all the days of his life. These are the hands that will work along yours, as together you build your future, as you laugh and cry, as you share your innermost secrets and dreams. These are the hands that you will place with expectant joy against your stomach until he too feels his child stir within you. These are the hands that look so large and strong, yet will be so gentle as he holds your baby for the first time. These are the hands that will work long hours for you and your new family. These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness. These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes, tears of sorrow and tears of joy. These are the hands that will comfort you in illness and hold you when fear or grief wrack your mind. These are the hands that will tenderly lift your chin and brush your cheek as they raise your face to look into his eyes, eyes that are completely filled with his overwhelming love and desire for you. Groom, please hold Brides’s hands, palms up, so that you may see the gift that they are to you. These are the hands of your best friend, smooth, young, and carefree that are holding yours on your wedding day, as she pledges her love and commitment to you all the days of her life. These are the hands that will hold each child in tender love, soothing them through illness and hurt, supporting and encouraging them along the way, and knowing when its time to let go. These are the hands that will massage tension from your neck and back in the evenings after you’ve both had a long hard day. These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult times. These are the hands that will comfort you when you are sick or console you when you are grieving. These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years for a lifetime of happiness. These are the hands that will hold you in joy and excitement and hope, each time she tells you that you are to have another child, that together you have created a new life. These are the hands that will give you support as she encourages you to chase down your dreams. Together as a team, everything you wish can be realized. Officiant: God, bless these hands that you see before you this day. May they always be held by one another. Give them the strength to hold on during the storms of stress and the dark of disillusionment. Keep them tender and gentle as they nurture each other in their wondrous love. Help these hands to continue building a relationship founded in your grace, rich in caring and devoted in reaching for your perfection. May Bride and Groom see their four hands as healer, protector, shelter and guide. We ask this in your name. Amen.

I like that its different. Now I will have to choose between the two.

Hello Sue! I wish you the best for your daughters wedding. I am sure it is going to be a marvellous and happy day :). I know candle ceremonies are romantic but have in mind that they are also very common these days. After all it might be to the best if you choose another ceremony.... A sand ceremony might be the thing for your daughter or a version of a sand ceremony. I would definitely also go for the wine and letter suggestions mentioned here. That was just soooo romantic and gave me and idea for my own wedding. I also want to tip both you on a web site I found the other day. [url]http://www.your-florida-beachwedding-guide.com[/url] It is a beach wedding site but contains lots of info on weddings in general :) Love Diane!

We're also doing the sand ceremony. Actually I just picked up our engraved vases and they are beautiful! Now I just need to find a lid for the larger vase. wish me luck!

I was looking for alternatives as well and my man playfully suggested that my side of the family bring peanut butter and his side bring jelly and we make a sandwich and eat it! I got a good laugh out of it.

well i love the wine box ceremony. but we dont like wine. maybe we could put an alternative drink in the box. what do you suggest?

Well, you could try champagne I guess. I can't think what else would last for as long as you are supposed to keep the wine. What about something else that is symbolic (other than something you would eat or drink) to put in the box?

lmao. i told anthony. he said what if i put that letter i just did it for the income taxes purpose. or something silly like that. i was like omg. he has that kind of sense of humor. he digs the hand fast cermony. so we will probably do that. he is too silly

Wow, the box, wine, and letters idea is so touching! Thank you, I think we might do this in our ceremony - I really love it! My only concern is that as Christians, we've talked many times about how divorce isn't an option, and no matter how tough it gets, we know God won't give us more than we can get through together. Part of what the pastor is going to say is about that... so it seems like by saying "before you do anything irrational" it would take away the effect of the idea.