My Wedding Journal - Bridesmaids/Matron of Honor ISSUES!!!

When we first got engaged I knew who I wanted to be in my wedding, my best friend from highschool and my best friend from college and then 3 of my cousins. My FH's sister told him "oh tell her i'll be her maid of honnor" which kind of upset me because I dont want her in the wedding at all. My matron of honor is really not trying to help me at all and I feel like I might have made a wrong decision on who to have as my matron of honor. I've thought about it and want to ask another one of the girls to be my matron of honor instead, is this too tacky or should i just suck it up and do it all my self or ask the brides maid to do the help and just not have a matron of honor and well just what should i do????

I wish I could help. But if it makes you feel any better, you are not alone. I have my sister as a maid of honor but she "went away" for a little while so she can't help me. I thought my brides maids would pitch in or show a little interests but they don't and only 2 showed up to a dress picking (one at 2 separate events). I thought it would cause life long tension if I fired them but believe me I want to fire them. So I guess my answer is if you have to put up with her in the future and you don't want tension-suck it up. If you don't care about the awkwardness of the situation dump her.

Try talking to her. Tell her you need some help. Maybe approach the topic by saying you read an article about what the bridal party is supposed to do or something. Im doing everything myself. I have my sister and a friend and my friend is helping a lot. my sister thinks all she has to do is "fluff" the dress lol. But im also getting married in Vegas at one of the chapels and they take care of a lot of it too. good luck!!

I changed my mind. Things have changed and I've decided to fire those who haven't contributed. They have one more event to prove themselves.

[QUOTE=Jesska5909;216208]When we first got engaged I knew who I wanted to be in my wedding, my best friend from highschool and my best friend from college and then 3 of my cousins. My FH's sister told him "oh tell her i'll be her maid of honnor" which kind of upset me because I dont want her in the wedding at all. My matron of honor is really not trying to help me at all and I feel like I might have made a wrong decision on who to have as my matron of honor. I've thought about it and want to ask another one of the girls to be my matron of honor instead, is this too tacky or should i just suck it up and do it all my self or ask the brides maid to do the help and just not have a matron of honor and well just what should i do????[/QUOTE] I aslo was as well in your situation and it was my cousin who thought she should be my matron but I wanted my best friend , so I let her be my matron and my best friend was my maid, and this way you have the best of both worlds and no one is upset and you have extra help with two instead of one. Also if your looking for a way to say that you need a maid , just state ,I think we may need extra help and I've request a maid as well as a matron this way things that are needed to be done , does not have to reley on one person to make sure it gets dobe you have two people. I hope this helps you... Ps. Been there just last year , so I understand!

[QUOTE=Jesska5909;216208]When we first got engaged I knew who I wanted to be in my wedding, my best friend from highschool and my best friend from college and then 3 of my cousins. My FH's sister told him "oh tell her i'll be her maid of honnor" which kind of upset me because I dont want her in the wedding at all. My matron of honor is really not trying to help me at all and I feel like I might have made a wrong decision on who to have as my matron of honor. I've thought about it and want to ask another one of the girls to be my matron of honor instead, is this too tacky or should i just suck it up and do it all my self or ask the brides maid to do the help and just not have a matron of honor and well just what should i do????[/QUOTE] I aslo was as well in your situation and it was my cousin who thought she should be my matron but I wanted my best friend , so I let her be my matron and my best friend was my maid, and this way you have the best of both worlds and no one is upset and you have extra help with two instead of one person. Also if your looking for a way to say that you need a maid , just state ,I think we may need extra help and I've request a maid as well as a matron this way things that are needed to be done can get done, and you do not have to reley on one person to make sure things get done that's needed.You'll have two people and whatever one can't do the other probably can.. I hope this helps you... Ps. Been there just last year , so I understand!

I've been dealing with similiar. I try to talk to my maid of honor about anything wedding related, heck, anything at all and she changes the subject. Sadly, she was the one that introduced my fiance and I to each other 18 years ago. I have asked her to now be a bridesmaid and allow my best friend to be my matron of honor as my best friend has at least been there to talk to about things. Really look at who is deserving of the title. Who is there for you and who you can really rely on.

I completely understand what you're going through, but as my sister-in-law keeps reminding me, this is you and your grooms day and will never be repeated. As hurt as your current maid of honour may be, you need someone that you can count on to make your day as stress free as possible, not add to the stress. What seems like a huge problem now will be nothing a few months from now.

[QUOTE=Jesska5909;216208]When we first got engaged I knew who I wanted to be in my wedding, my best friend from highschool and my best friend from college and then 3 of my cousins. My FH's sister told him "oh tell her i'll be her maid of honnor" which kind of upset me because I dont want her in the wedding at all. My matron of honor is really not trying to help me at all and I feel like I might have made a wrong decision on who to have as my matron of honor. I've thought about it and want to ask another one of the girls to be my matron of honor instead, is this too tacky or should i just suck it up and do it all my self or ask the brides maid to do the help and just not have a matron of honor and well just what should i do????[/QUOTE] no it wouldn't be tacky. my wedding is in November and i told all the girls from matron of honor to brides maid that if they dont have the funds to pay for their dress or you dont make it to any of the meetings that she will be replace with a back up girl( sister, cousin or not). its your day and the last thing you want to be is mad on yuor wedding day.